No. 473

Two aliens in a spaceship hovering far above Earth watched a human on the ship’s viewscreen.

“That’s the one,” said the larger of the two. “There’s your host.”

The smaller alien squinted at the screen. “Really? I don’t like the way he looks.”

“What’s the problem?” asked the large alien.

“I don’t know. It’s just that, after the last one, I thought I had enough seniority to pick out my own host body.”

The large alien laughed. “Well, yes, normally you’d be close. But you bungled your last mission, remember?”

The small alien became defensive. “I couldn’t have known that they moved Area 51. Did you know they moved Area 51?”

“That’s all part of doing your homework. I didn’t know they moved Area 51, but my assignment was crop circles.”

“Bah, whatever,” complained the small alien. “Just beam me down already.”


Lucas Henry was on his way to the corner store when he was caught in a bright light. After a few seconds, he began to feel tingly.

When the light turned off, he was left by himself in an empty parking lot, with an overwhelming desire to drain the blood from a cow.