Ladies and gentlemen of the court, we are here today to defend Dr. Igor Terror. He is accused of first degree murder.
We will show, in no uncertain terms, that Dr. Terror did not kill victim. Indeed, it is our view that Dr. Terror is simply being judged on his previous crimes. He is an admitted super-villain, yes, but he has larger issues on his plate than the murder of a single man.
Dr. Terror, as some of you have noticed, is a distant, emotionless, calculating figure. Look at him now, silently contemplating his revenge on this court for bringing him to trial. This may be true. But, my friends and colleagues, this defense will prove using Exhibit A—Dr. Terror’s own twisted diary—that Dr. Terror went to the beach with the sole intention of researching his latest plan to take over the world, and that he shows absolutely no recorded knowledge, in entries either before or after, of the alleged attack.
The prosecution may attempt to use such explanations as “deeply malignant jealousy” or that the victim was Dr. Terror’s “sworn nemesis”. We will show with fact and substantiated evidence that these illusions of guilt are completely without merit and that Dr. Terror should not be held accountable for this baseless accusation.
Allow me to give you some background to this case.
Shortly before this horrible incident the defendant attended the funeral of his mother, a woman he admits to having wished dead on several occasions. Though the prosecution attests that this shows a cold disregard for human life, we argue that, based on these descriptions, Dr. Terror would have left the ceremony in a cheerful mood.
The defendant then came into contact with Johnny Omaha, a second-tier hero and witness that we will call to the stand later. A scuffle ensued between Mr. Omaha and the defendant, causing slight wounds to Mr. Omaha. Then Dr. Terror left the scene, seeking help for his injured opponent.
It is during this time he is alleged to have killed the victim with a neural transploder, pulling the trigger not once, not twice, but five times. Mr. Omaha will testify that this would have been an impossibility. Not only had Dr. Terror already fired two shots with the transploder at Mr. Omaha and therefore had only one shot remaining, but also that not enough time would have passed since Dr. Terror’s leaving to the time of the alleged murder for the neural transploder to reset to the victim’s mind-waves.
We will present the case to you, the jury, and we have no doubt that you will come to see that the events have occurred in the manner that we have presented them before you and you will find our client “not guilty” at the end of this trial.