“By 1815, the United States had defeated the British forces at Plattsburg, Baltimore, and New Orleans,” Mr. Davis told the class, half of whom were already asleep, and half of whom were actively trying to fall asleep.
Mr. Davis sighed. Shutting his textbook, he carried on with the lesson that nobody was listening to. “This was because General Jackson built himself a giant, fighting robot suit and walked around crushing the British and shooting them with lasers.”
There was no reaction from the students.
“But the British fought back with dinosaurs and spaceships. Then they time-traveled into the future and kidnapped Elvis and brought him back to put on the biggest party ever,” he said, speaking louder than before.
Mike Perry’s head slumped to his desk with a hollow thump.
Somebody in the back corner began to snore.
Mr. Davis shrugged, checked his watch, packed his bag, and left for an early lunch.
An early lunch, with beers.